Gentlemen Callers

I have been super popular these days. Sadly, not in a good way. In the past week I have had two business cards with “Christina Witt Please Call” followed by a number for the Richmond City Police. Yeah, awesome.

First calling card – Left by a deputy sheriff asking me to call because he need to serve me with a show cause for not coming to jury duty. I don’t even know if that sentence was put together properly because I’m not sure if show cause is it’s own thing. Maybe it’s just a term used in the summons? I mean, I don’t even know if I’m spelling it correctly. Who the hell knows…well probably my lawyer friends but not this girl. Here’s what happened. I got a jury notice for the month of November. I started a new job in November. This job is pretty intense. I got called to serve and began to call the shit out of the courthouse. My calls were never returned. Nobody really gave me permission to miss jury duty. I got a show cause (Again, possibly not using the word properly). I will say that the deputy sheriff was just lovely on the phone and told me not to worry my pretty little head about it. Well, he didn’t say pretty little but he did tell me that this ain’t no thing. I will be in front of the judge on Feb 2nd to plead my case and present a lovely letter provided by my HR company. I’m weirdly not worried about this. Nathan is very worried.

Second calling card – This one is a lot more worrying for me. Apparently our neighbor’s dog went crazy the other day while in the backyard. He wouldn’t stop barking so my neighbor went outside to see what was up. What should he see? A random dude in my backyard looking through my windows. My neighbor said to himself “that doesn’t look like one of their friends”, and I know this to be true because that’s what he told Nathan, and yelled out to the man. The dude said that his bike tire was flat and he was looking for a tire pump. As if that is a totally reasonable reason to be in a stranger’s yard. Anyways, he told the guy that he needed to leave our property and then went inside to call the cops. The cops found our trespassing dude 4 blocks away and hauled him in. It seems he had warrants out for his arrest. So, again a calling card was left. This time the officer wanted to see if the bike was ours. It was not. For this one I am crazy worried. I mean WTF, I need for strangers to not be in my back yard. Seriously.

So, those are my ridiculous law issues.

Oh, and please notice that I tagged this post “shit got real.” I get a lot of satisfaction out of that tag.