1.  Jason Derulo.  I find it very odd that he feels it necessary to announce himself at the beginning every song.  I guess it may not be every song but it sure as hell is every song I ever hear.  And the announcement is done in the same way every time.  Just listen!

2.  Eyebrows.  Lately I’m a little obsessed with eyebrows and how some people manage to get them in the perfect shape arching over the complete eye.  Mine feel awfully wimpy in comparison.  Last night I even spent time trimming mine, that was a new thing for me.  They still don’t look like the girl from The Secret Circle.  I almost asked a coworker today what her eyebrow maintenance was but thought it may out me as a weirdo.  I should probably be working at this place at least 3 months before they find these things out.  Here’s the chick that got this whole weird eyebrow obsession started.

3.  Radiolab.  Oh sweet Jesus, I totally forgot how amazing these podcasts are.  Today I listened to the podcast on Patient Zero.  It was amazing.  And yes, it did have quite a bit about disease (AIDS and Typhoid Mary – that Mary was a real bitch*), but also how the high-five came to be.  So much to teach me!

4.  Bad Lip Reading Videos.  This one comes courtesy of Nathan.  I’m obsessed with the Herman Cain video.  You should probably watch them.

5.  Shit Nobody Says.  People have been flipping the F out about the Shit Girls Say videos but they have nothing on Shit Nobody Says.  It starts out with “Hey can I burn a copy of your Nickleback CD?”  Amazing.

6.  I’m bringing it back to home invasion.  So, Church Hill has had a bit of a run on crime in the past month or so.  There has been no shortage of news stories and many of them start with “There was a home invasion.”  This led me and a good friend that lives two blocks away to talk about how this pisses us off.  I feel like the news plays fast and loose with that phrase.  When I think of home invasion I think of people who totally did not have it coming.  If you are a known drug house with people in and out, I just don’t think the term applies.  So, when I have to hear the “you live in such a terrible place and you will be killed” and I reply with “no, I will be fine.”  I don’t want to hear “but all the home invasions!”  I will cut you.  And yes, I am totally aware that I had someone looking in my windows the other week.  But, he didn’t come in.

7.  Again with the running.  This blog started out as a way to document my crazy idea to run a half marathon.  Still not really sure what the heck I was thinking.  Well, after all that running I came to the conclusion that I hate to run.  Regardless of that hate, I have signed up for the Monument 10K.  I really don’t have a good reason.  So you know, I’m thinking about cold weather running a lot these days.  I start in 2 weeks.  Blech.

8.  Weddings.  2012 is the year of attending (and being in) weddings.  It should be a lot of fun since all the people getting married love a good party.  I’m super excited about them all and think about it a lot more than when I planned my own.  Possibly because I wanted nothing to do with planning my own.  Funny how that works.

*Actually it is a little sad because she was basically held against her will.  When the government finally decided to let her live a regular life, they made the only requirement that she would no longer work as a cook.  You know, to stop spreading that damn typhoid fever.  Well, that bitch Mary was caught working as a cook a while later.  So you know, I felt bad for her at first but not after I heard she got kids sick because she just kept cooking.

Oh and yes, I did just finish this post with a rant about Typhoid Mary.  I should also keep that from my coworkers.

First calling card – Left by a deputy sheriff asking me to call because he need to serve me with a show cause for not coming to jury duty. I don’t even know if that sentence was put together properly because I’m not sure if show cause is it’s own thing. Maybe it’s just a term used in the summons? I mean, I don’t even know if I’m spelling it correctly. Who the hell knows…well probably my lawyer friends but not this girl. Here’s what happened. I got a jury notice for the month of November. I started a new job in November. This job is pretty intense. I got called to serve and began to call the shit out of the courthouse. My calls were never returned. Nobody really gave me permission to miss jury duty. I got a show cause (Again, possibly not using the word properly). I will say that the deputy sheriff was just lovely on the phone and told me not to worry my pretty little head about it. Well, he didn’t say pretty little but he did tell me that this ain’t no thing. I will be in front of the judge on Feb 2nd to plead my case and present a lovely letter provided by my HR company. I’m weirdly not worried about this. Nathan is very worried.

Second calling card – This one is a lot more worrying for me. Apparently our neighbor’s dog went crazy the other day while in the backyard. He wouldn’t stop barking so my neighbor went outside to see what was up. What should he see? A random dude in my backyard looking through my windows. My neighbor said to himself “that doesn’t look like one of their friends”, and I know this to be true because that’s what he told Nathan, and yelled out to the man. The dude said that his bike tire was flat and he was looking for a tire pump. As if that is a totally reasonable reason to be in a stranger’s yard. Anyways, he told the guy that he needed to leave our property and then went inside to call the cops. The cops found our trespassing dude 4 blocks away and hauled him in. It seems he had warrants out for his arrest. So, again a calling card was left. This time the officer wanted to see if the bike was ours. It was not. For this one I am crazy worried. I mean WTF, I need for strangers to not be in my back yard. Seriously.

So, those are my ridiculous law issues.

Oh, and please notice that I tagged this post “shit got real.” I get a lot of satisfaction out of that tag.

First reason I can’t be bothered to post.  I got a new job!  I just started at a new company working as a web designer.  It’s been a bit of a whirlwind (I never really know what the right spelling is there so just deal with that one please).  All of a sudden I decided it was time for me to make a change and BAM!  I had a new job.  I’m incredibly excited about it but right now I’m completely drained.  I don’t tend to handle change very well and this is a serious big girl job.  Guys, it’s like a career.  Anyways, with the career change I’ve been a bit preoccupied and now spend my days trying to convince myself I’m good enough.  It’s just plain exhausting.

I suppose another reason would be the holidays.  Since this is my first Christmas in the house I’ve been a bit spastic about decorating.  I just want it to look perfect.  That means I’m currently obsessing about every little thing.  Here’s a quick snapshot of my front door.

Oh, and yes that is a giant black bear holding a fish that says “Welcome.”  That would be
an addition made by Nathan and I hate it with all of my heart.  Seriously, I hate it.

Next reason.  There’s been much blithering about my weight gain on this blog.  Basically, I’m pissed about it.  After much wallowing in misery, I have finally gone and found the thing to motivate me.  I have recruited some friends and we now have a program to get our asses in shape while being held accountable.  It works like this – 6 out of the 7 days of the week you MUST work out for at least 30 minutes.  We aren’t picky about the type of workout.  It can be cardio, strength training, etc.  If you miss a day of working out (other than the day of rest you choose), you owe $5 to the pot.  At some point we will take the money and do something fantastic with it.  There was some rumbling of giving it to charity and I may have shouted out (in front of people that had know idea what I was talking about) “I do enough for charity, I’m not giving this to them.”  Wow, I’m a bitch.  Anyways, since I’m competitive, stubborn and cheap, I don’t anticipate paying much for this.  So far I owe nothing.

Third reason, I’ve been oh so weary because Nathan keeps working out of town.  My main squeeze has been working in North Carolina during the week so I only get to see him Thur-Sun.  I am really not loving it.  Although, I am able to fulfill my fat bet requirements in any way I want while he’s gone.  I have been doing a lot of dance workouts.  I look like this:

Yeah, embarrassing.  I have also been doing a lot of the belly dance workouts and I look absolutely ridiculous.  It kind of reminds me of the King of Queens episode where Carri keeps pole dancing and it is painfully awful.  That is me when I belly dance.  Alas, I will keep looking like an idiot and I’ll be fine with it.

I guess there aren’t really any other reasons I can’t post.  It’s just plain laziness.  I’ll work on it.

100 Things – Nathan

1. Nathan was my high school sweetheart
2. He is still very angry that we weren’t voted “Best Couple”
3. He says that we should have because we were a “power couple”
4. He went to Hampden Sydney College
5. Nathan was one of the only freshman starting football players
6. That’s kind of a big deal
7. We rekindled our epic romance at Have A Nice Day Cafe while watching some pretty sweet bands
8. Yes, that Have A Nice Day Cafe…Most. Awful. Place. Ever.
9. Nathan has a hoarding problem
10. He also isn’t very good about putting things away
11. He leaves piles of socks all over our house
12. I yell at him and he says “I know, love.”
13. I’m not sure if he does know
14. Nathan loves watching sports on tv
15. All sports
16. This includes bowling, pool and women’s softball
17. Nathan was born in Lynchburg, VA
18. He moved to Richmond when he was 4
19. He acts like it’s ok to say things like “kin” because he lived there for four years
20. It’s not
21. Nathan loves graphic tees
22. Especially ones by Volcom and other surf shop stores
23. His Dad calls these his ‘dress tees’
24. Sometimes he wears fancy clothes and shocks people
25. He always looks so handsome
26. Nathan has a beard
27. I love it
28. He recently had to shave it off
29. That’s because he is raising money for Mustaches 4 Kids
30. Oh, he could use your donation – http://www.m4krichmond.org/participant/6017
31. I don’t love the mustache
32. Nathan has an amazing family
33. They are all incredibly kind and lovely
34. Nathan is lucky
35. Nathan is super in love with our dog, Essien
36. He wasn’t always
37. When Essien was a puppy, he used to say he ‘had hate in his heart for the dog’
38. I don’t think he meant it
39. Puppies are just hard
40. Now he always says ‘I love our little family’
41. But not enough to add another dog
42. Nathan is very easy going
43. I’m not so this is really good for me
44. Nothing bothers him
45. Except when we closed on the house
46. He freaked the F out
47. I don’t think he likes responsibility
48. In fact, I know he doesn’t
49. Nathan isn’t much of a planner
50. He is go with the flow
51. He leaves the planning to me
52. Except when we go camping
53. He is really great at coordinating camping trips
54. We only go camping about once every 3 years
55. He is also really great at coordinating winery tours
56. He loves wine
57. And he is kind of a snob about it
58. He also loves beer
59. He has helped me love good wine and beer
60. We aren’t alcoholics
61. My mom used to call Nathan a ‘renaissance man’
62. Probably because he knows everything about everything
63. You want him on your trivia team
64. Sometimes he doesn’t know answers to things
65. He makes things up and sounds really convincing
66. We always believe him
67. Nathan loves my friends
68. He is both obnoxious and sweet to them
69. I love this, it makes me very happy
70. He says that I bring the friends in and he cultivates the friendship
71. He could be right
72. Nathan is full of sass in the mornings
73. He wakes up and immediately starts with the sarcasm
74. I’m not a morning person so don’t like this very much
75. He always tells me about his dreams in the morning
76. He knows that I really hate this
77. He does it anyway
78. Nathan knows me better than anybody else
79. He almost always knows how to make things better
80. He also has a very odd ability to make me full of rage but still laugh
81. He is very funny
82. Nathan doesn’t have a hate list full of weird items like I do
83. But has a couple
84. He hates putting things in drawers
85. So he uses bookshelves for his clothes
86. It makes me crazy
87. He also hates pinterest
88. Sometimes I trick him into looking at things on pinterest
89. I think he secretly likes those things
90. Nathan doesn’t like being an adult
91. I have to agree
92. He loves the song Forever Young
93. I think it’s mainly the message that he loves
94. I like to call him ‘Sweet, sweet Nathan’
95. It really suits him
96. Because he is so sassy
97. But he’s also sweet
98. He brings me flowers for no reason
99. And tells me he loves me every day
100. I am very lucky to have him

Fact #2:  I get obsessive.  Possibly due to my anxiety disorder.  God knows why else I’m obsessive.

So, what happens when these two things coincide and create the perfect emotional storm?  I cry at the gym.  While on the treadmill.  And Guys, it’s embarrassing. 

Ok, I already blogged about going off the meds.  Well, it’s going super well thank you very much except for the extra tears I have for crazy shit.  I cry over just about anything.  I really did tear up a few times watching people cross the finish line at the marathon.  It’s very moving and I’ll be damned if I could ever run 26 miles.  So, just know that I’m crying over everything. 

As for the obsessive personality.  It often times happens with TV shows.  If you were my friend for the summer of 2010 you would know I had a huge obsession with Battlestar Gallactica.  Like, big time.  Well, now my obsession is Vampire Diaries.  A couple of things to know, I am in love with this show and can’t get enough.  It is on Netflix Streaming which means I can have it anytime, anywhere.  I find that all of my thoughts are wrapped up in this show. 

Anyways, because it is on instant streaming and I have a delightful iPhone which kicks ass with Netflix streaming….I spend my time working out at the gym while getting my VD (yes, this is an unfortunate acronym) fix.  I should have known this was a bad idea about a week ago when one of the trainers caught me watching a steamy scene while on the elliptical.  I mean, it’s on the CW so it could only be so bad.  But, since he knows that I’m watching what he calls a “Vampire Soap Opera,” it’s fairly embarrassing.  Well, yesterday I watched two episodes while doing cardio.  And guys, shit got real.  People are dying.   People I really like are dying.  It’s all very sad and touching so I cried, while on the elliptical, in the middle of the gym.  And people saw me.  I just grabbed my towel and started wiping my face like I was sweating.  As a friend said last night…I was sweating out of my eyes.  So so very embarrassing.  And then, after the tears…SURPRISE!  We were psyched out and the person didn’t die.  So, my tears were for no good reason.  But then of course I cried because I was so happy.  I’m a mess.

Based on yesterday’s events I should stop watching potentially upsetting or moving things while out in public.  But, I won’t.

So, from now on I think it is best if you don’t even ask for me to be your morning workout partner.  It will only end in misery.  And yes, I do watch QVC.  And no, I have never made a purchase.

Anyways, I’ve been on the meds for about a year and while I’ve not been a raging maniac (which Nathan has loved), I have gained a crap ton of weight (which I hate). So because of the “Oh shit, my clothes don’t fit” way I’m feeling I decided to quit my meds cold turkey. I figured that I quit smoking cold turkey so why not give it a shot. I may have also said something that sounded a lot like “I would rather be a f**ing psycho than fat.” You know, I’ve got my priorities straight and I’m not at all vain or shallow.

At this point you are probably thinking WTF is the point of this post? Here’s the point. My Sads are here which means I haven’t been writing but I feel like I’m fighting them off. Although I have a lot of feelings and I haven’t felt like there’s much to share, I’m about a month off and handling it pretty well. I feel like I totally have to give credit to Nathan and my friends for this one. Everyone has been throwing fantastic events, parties and just generally being delightful so I don’t have much time to wallow in misery over the world’s sadness.*

There’s another thing that’s been helping me. I have some people that I play the “I love” game with when they see me looking a touch down. I didn’t make up this game and would probably make fun of other people for doing it but man I appreciate these ladies. They just want me to be happy. Basically we shout out random things we love. Kind of like in Anchorman when Steve Carrell says “I love lamp.” So, I will share some of my loves with you all now.

Pinterest, My Drunk Kitchen Videos, Toms, red wine, how Essien snuggles me in bed now that it is chilly outside, that I can recycle in my new house, winter is coming (I love both actual winter and saying this because of Game of Thrones), Game of Thrones, Rdio (yes, I mean rdio and no I do not mean radio), that Daniel Day-Lewis is currently living in Church Hill, pumpkin coffee, Britney Spears music, scarves……and that could go on forever.

Anyways, after this long post of basically nothing, I will end this with a few things.

1. I will conquer The Sads, hopefully without the help of meds.
2. I will get my ass in shape. Definitely with the help of a friend who will bully me into doing p90x videos with her.

That is all.

*You may be thinking that I’m exaggerating. I’m not kidding, I cry over the world’s sadness. That is just how ridiculous I am. God forbid we have another oil spill and I have to look at those poor oily animals.

Anyways, this evening Nathan went to help his family do some cleaning in his old bedroom. I anticipated some things making their way back to our house and of course he didn’t let me down. Here are some of my favorites (actually they make me feel full of the special type of rage I reserve for Nathan. The “I’m so irritated with you but you are still managing to make me laugh. Damn it” rage)

This is the huge cluster of key chains that he felt was necessary to keep. He said we may need them when we are giving spare keys to the house away. So basically he anticipates everyone in our neighborhood receiving a key.

And here we have a high school photography project. He challenged me to figure out what it meant. I failed. Turns out this little gem showcases both the king of the jungle and the king of football. Who knew.

Here we have a random marble ball. Nathan feels it is a beautiful show piece.

And we aren’t the only ones with these fantastic gifts…this is a poster he brought home because he was sure a friend would want it. We’ll see.

Guys, that’s not everything, just a little taste of the crap I now have to find a home for. Our dining room table is covered in it. Delightful.

Fast forward two weeks to today. I AM SICK. Sinus infection/cold/feeling oh so very blue type of sick. I’m being a brat and having temper tantrums, being a complete ass most of the time and all I want is for Nathan to take care of me. Well, that isn’t going to happen and this is why.

1. Nathan never actually believes I’m sick. He claims I’m a carrier and never actually able to feel badly myself. I take a little blame for this because I can be overly dramatic but this time I’m for real. I feel terrible and just want my head rubbed. There was an instance in the past where I was truly ill and he had no sympathy for me. After I finally got better, he got sick and was a mess. He needed me to do just about everything for him. When I called him out and his lack of sympathy for me, he replied with “If I had known this is how you felt I would have been a lot better to you!” Typical.

2. Nathan is coming off a wiffleball injury. Yeah, you read that right. He rolled his ankle while playing wiffleball and sprained it pretty badly. So badly that he could barely walk about. He still claims it hurts so shouldn’t be moving about too much…even though he did return to wiffleball this week. I call shenanigans.

3. Poor, sweet little Essien is sick. He has kennel cough and sounds just terrible. The poor little guy hacks and coughs so hard that his whole body shakes. I feel so bad for the little guy and have been giving him cuddles. But, because he is sick, that’s where Nathan’s head is at right now. Well, that and fantasy football. I’m coming in third in line this week which doesn’t bode well for my sinus infection.

Here’s to our little house of sickos getting better soon! Also, I am currently accepting gifts of chicken soup.